All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Acting Class

"There's nowhere else to be but here.  There's nothing else to do but this."

These were the first words out of our amazing acting coach, David Ralphe, at the beginning of every class.  You would feel your shoulders relax and your mind’s eye come into focus at the front of the class.  There he would be, probing each of us with his intuitive eye, patiently and compassionately waiting until we were all “there” in the room with him before he commenced.

Present.  David was calling us to be present in the moment.  Leave behind all the shoulds, the to-do list, the many obligations and expectations gnawing at us before we walked into class.  Let go of all the activities, events, conversations and circumstances of our day that pooled in our frontal lobe and limbs and joints, and come into this moment.  Don’t miss it!  Be fully available with your senses tuned in to hear, see and comprehend this moment, right now. 

Often times we’re ahead of ourselves, thinking about what is to come or what if, rather than experiencing this moment for what it is.  If I'm gathering laundry, I should be gathering laundry, sorting through the colors, textures, and weights.  If I'm washing vegetables, can I just purpose to feel the skin of the vegetables running through my fingers: noticing the ribs on the celery and the hairs on the outside of the carrots? Instead, I choose to miss moments. I choose to live in the frenetic energy of my mind that tenses up my shoulders and neck and hips.

Present moments aren’t tense.  The present holds breath, physical connection to the earth, sounds and creative problem solving.  The present moment explores texture, emotion, and expression. Present moments hold space, as if you’re merely suspended, and yet, grounded. The present moment holds no fear.  Future moments hold anxiety and fear, and they lack the resources needed to solve fictitious problems. Past moments hold my false perceptions and lead me to second-guess my actions, motives, and conversations.  Either way I'm flirting with fear or hopelessness.

Look up, look around – what is to be feared this very moment?

“And breathing….” In the middle of a scene when you’re watching yourself in your mind’s eye and hearing yourself say the lines…. "and breathing…”  David would say this to knock the air into us when our performance was in our heads and less than truthful.  He would watch our stiff ankles and hear our voices resonating at an unnatural pitch and gently remind us to reconnect with ourselves through the vehicle of our breath. 

Breath is life.  In times of stress, our heart rate goes up, and our breath becomes shallow and quick.  A deep diaphragmatic breath reconnects us to our bodies, slows down our thoughts and our heart-rates and relaxes our minds.  It brings us back into the present moment. On stage, a relaxed mind is able to listen to respond.  It causes us to move with easy self-control and to look the other person in the eye and tell the truth.  To this day, even if I'm in the grocery store, or wherever I am, I check in with my breath. Once I become aware and restore my breath to deep breathing patterns, instantly, I'm back in the moment and my heart rate comes to resting.

Do every performance “as if for the first time.” 

Same Time, Next Year

Each day is a different day.  I am a different person today than I was yesterday.  If I try to remake yesterday, or hang on to a feeling in hopes of recreating it, I will only end up disappointed.  Recreating yesterday’s performance, experience, or feelings is living in the past.  The past is a memory, it is meant to be cherished, remembered, and learned from, not relived.  Living in past causes me to miss this moment right now.  It can also cause me to respond with old habits or respond with obsolete information and feelings—it leads to living dishonestly.  I must listen to hear this moment and respond honestly to the best of my ability.  This way I am authentic and true to my current self and the person who is communicating with me.

“Never lose your childlike sense of wonder.”

Photo cred: Emiley Creates Photography

I remember standing in front of my grammar and writing class I was teaching a few years ago and making a comment to the parents about a 5^th grade memory that erupted into my conscious. I assumed the parents  in the class recalled what they were feeling at that age also.  When I asked them about it, you could hear a pin drop.  No one was even tracking with me.  Not one of them seemed to recall all the way back to those particular childhood memories. I thought….hm….no wonder I can recreate so many moments on stage….I recall so many seemingly insignificant moments from my childhood!  I still have a recurring dream about a house with secret passage ways and expansive secret rooms in its bowels.  My dream is always warm and exciting and full of exploration and adventure!  "What if…."  That’s an exciting prospect when you’re curious. 

Dixie Swim Club

That childlike sense of wonder invites non-judgmental curiosity in relationships too.  Since we are all so unlike each other in personality, we can choose to remain curious in a situation when we do not understand our fellow humankind’s actions, or we can choose to be offended and judgmental.  Likewise, we can remain curious about our own responses to circumstances we find ourselves in.  Hm….why did I feel angry, or offended, or nonplussed, or impulsive….etc….? Remaining curious with a childlike sense of wonder opens the doors for exploring rooms of our souls we might otherwise be quick to dismiss or judge, or worse...forget.  It also creates space for others to interact safely with us. Evolution within ourselves and our relationships comes first from acceptance of the truth.  To accept the truth we must not dismiss it or judge it, but look at it straight in the eye and explore it fairly, as it deserves.

The Telephone

“You are enough. No one can do what you can do.” 

This is my most used phrase in teaching my own pupils. And I always mean it.  David sincerely meant it too. It’s funny, because we are created to learn, and we learn first by mimicking. The mockingbird is Florida’s state bird and it does not have a sound of it’s own.  It has a tendency to mock the most annoying bird calls it hears.  Not the nice sing-songy birds calls, but the most obnoxious unmusical noises birds can make.  Sometimes it will sound like a looped recording, doing five different bird calls in row and then starting over.  It has no identifying sound for you to know you are listening to a mockingbird.

Abigail 1702

Though we start by mimicking, like even mockingbirds are designed to do, humans have the capability to master who they uniquely are.  God inserted His image in humankind and each and every person born reflects a piece of Himself that no one else has.  God is so vast, and so infinite, each person can carry a bit of Him in them and never overlap with anyone else!  All we have to do is SHINE OUT who God made us to be, and we are a beautiful gift to the world.  We are enough.  No one can do what we can do.  Thusly, we need each other.  You offer what I cannot, and what I have to offer, no one else does.  Isn’t that amazing?  So I can shine out and be who I am: lumpy or smooth, cautious or finessed, kind or quick to point out flaws, classy or clumsy, pensive or joyous - whatever the attribute might be - and I AM ENOUGH.  I offer something to world that reflects the very essence of God just by being myself.

David saw that beauty in all of his students, and he sought to draw it out of us, that we might stand on our two feet, breathing life into all the wonder of our imaginations, and then simply jumping of the cliff with contempt for the results. Or as he put it....eff it....again, staying in the moment without being tied to a future result.  Enjoy the ride - choices, mischoices, reactions - you'll find your way.

As art mimics life, life also is art.  The joy of creating and being receptive to all around us is a true gift. Thank you, David Ralphe, for the amazing life lessons.  So many of which I didn't mention here, but carry in my heart and throughout my life. 

Photo cred: Rena Collette Photography