Soli Deo Gloria

I just caught myself smiling:  the 12, 9, and 6 year-olds are working diligently on separate school-related tasks.  It is a lovely solitude to hear the scratch of pencils on paper, the muttering of math problems being worked aloud before showing the work on paper, the shoving of shapes into their puzzle places, and the occasional "correct answer sonance" from the educational website. But this is my last month of having three grammar students! My oldest, who has been a  memorization wizard the past 12 years is now rolling his eyes when asked to recite (though he is still a memorization wizard....).  He is questioning my instructions, or resisting my help....he's got this.  He is also graduating to his own room this summer, complete with a desk and bookshelf of his own.  He's organically ready to launch into a new developmental stage and a new way of learning and working out his faith. Like a mother duckling, I have led them down spir...

I sit crumpled up in a heap on the floor.  I can't believe it.  I am utterly utterly stunned.  Like I've been kicked in the gut - all the air knocked out of me. My feet knocked out from under me. Another marriage in the toilet.  Not my marriage, but the marriage of good friend.  I am praying for this family, and yet, can't pray, can't get my breath enough to pray.  I'm thinking to myself, why is this so devastating?  Why does my heart feel ripped out of my chest and beating like a lethargic blob on the floor next to me? I put myself in my friends' shoes.  I feel the horror, the betrayal, all the years of sweet history and building blocks carefully laid, children joyfully born, ministry sown and tilled together.  Gone.  And not just gone, but leaving a wake of devastation.  Devastation to each other, to the children, to the family, to all the hundreds of Christian brothers and sisters ministered to all these many years. Then I fee...