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Showing posts from 2012

My Salvation

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I finally got a full night's sleep!  The baby didn't wake, nobody needed nightmare comfort, and I actually felt like exercising!  (A first in over a year....)  I was elated and ready to tackle the day.  I was even excited to be outside for the first time in a year and announced to the brood that we would be going outside after mommy finished putting the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and wiped off the sinks. Then - "CRASH!" I couldn't stop it.....the container of dipping oil Rob had concocted the night before for our dinner with friends tonight went hurling onto the ceramic tile in an explosion of glass and oil and herbs....."Nooooooo!" I heard myself gasp.  And there it was - a huge mess I had no idea how to tackle.  After banishing the children to the school room in their bare feet, and denouncing our outside excursion, I sat down on the couch to drink my coffee and figure out how to clean up gloppy glass.  Wallowing in my self pity, my husban...

True Confessions

I am an introvert. According to Myers/Briggs, an INTJ , to be exact:   Introverted Intuition with Thinking .   Oh my! This describes me to a "T."   As an introvert, I turn inward to think, feel, process and decipher situations and feelings.  I always seem to be on a quest for truth; wanting above all else, to get to the key issue in a circumstance.  And because of how God made me and because of His hand upon me, He has turned me to Him and His word, as well as other true sources of His general revelation, for answers to life's twists and turns.  As an introvert, I enjoy reading, journaling, and time alone - any contemplative activity to keep the peace within. Most of the pros and cons of my personality have been evident to me for a long time.  For pros, I am highly creative and visionary , perfectionistic and independent .  For cons, I am stubborn and unrealistic , critical and independent .  Yet thankfully, the Lord...

Little Things

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This blog post was featured this past month at "Happy Homemaker Me" http://www.happyhomemaker.me/2012/02/happy-thoughts.html As it turned out, on the evening of the day I wrote this piece, my water broke and we welcomed our third boy, Caedmon, into the world the next morning. At 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant with boy #3, I have been inundated with little things .  I have been washing newborn onesies, folding receiving blankets, putting tiny diapers away, and gathering supplies… feeling little kicks and hearing little pitter patters of heartbeats each week…. Little Things … All we do as mommies are little things :  cook meals, clean rooms, do loads of laundry, read short books, comb hair, kiss owies, apply Band-Aids, push swings, change diapers, fill sippy cups, play games, praise accomplishments, vacuum….this is our domain, this is our joy…. or is it …. Coming into motherhood in my mid-thirties, I struggle each day with my role as Woman.  Who am I?  My time i...

The Good News! (A Conclusion to "The Juxtaposition")

The moment I clicked "Publish Post" my phone rang.  Dear Hubby on the other end asked how I was doing, to which I promptly answered, "Sinful, Hopeless, in need of Christ."  I went a whole day after that feeling convicted, like a failure as a Christian, knowing that I, to refer to my own pen, would never "really want holiness."  I am a failure.  I am, dare I say?, a black-hearted sinner. As I chose, almost 24 hours later, to really confess this to my Savior, it hit me - The Gospel!  This is The Gospel!   Not that I would reach a holy state of my accord and effort, wanting with my whole heart to serve Him, " but [that] God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses , made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurabl...

The Juxtaposition

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As I lay here with my son at 5:30 in the a.m., cuddling a wide-awake three-year-old back to sleep, my mind is flooded with friends' cyber comments and blogs about profound discoveries through their trials throughout the recent days and seasons of their lives.  I hearken back to one of my blog entries regarding how wimpy my generation is and think about how struck my friends and I are with the audacity of Suffering taking up residence in our homes. The many Facebook comments I read from other moms about the challenges of parenting, my Facebook comments about the challenges of parenting, other friends posting about profound trials and struggles, and even the many who admit they are surprised by God's sovereign plan in those trials, take me aback with shame for my generation's narcissistic outlook. Yet, the fact that God is not leaving us to our narcissism - that He is changing our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh, exposing our hearts to true joy by wounding our spirit...